Hey kids!
Hope yr'll doing well.
( WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB !!!!! )
Guess who's STILL alive and kick'n.
(....mostly kick'n......at least during physical therapy sessions)
As some of you here on the DA community and/or internetland in general may be aware of,
recently I've been a little....sick...this past year.
Last year I had my hips replace due to bone deterioration,
but GADZOOKS.....
that was only part of the failings plaguing my already mis-shapen form.
( WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB !!!!! )
Before my operation(s) even started,
I had an MRI scan done as part of the measuring and fitting process for my new spine.
It must not have been a very good MRI scan,
because I later discovered that when my flesh was slit apart and and my backbone exposed to the light of day
(or rather, really bright operating room flood lights)
my spinal column looked somewhat.....different.....than what the MRI scan had led all involved parties to believe.
Although I was afflicted with really bad scoliosis and kyphosis,
what the the Doc had still expected to see was a more-or-less at least something marginally normal like this:
However....what he actually discovered my spine to be.....turned out to be more like this:
As a result of this unexpected find, my Doc had take a whole lot of additional time and work......to pick up the ol'medical grade grinder
(essentially, it's pretty much the same thing as a regular industrial grinder often used in the masonry and metal working industries)
and proceed to file down/grind down all the protruding excess bone off,
before he would be able to put in my new spine.
All this extra work to shave all my vertebrae down to the correct size added extra time to the whole black op,
and turned what was supposed to be about an 8 hour surgery......to about a 14 hour surgery.
And so, my Doc could not finish in just one session, and had to stop half way through.
After a 2 day layover in the Hotel UMC (University Medical Center)
I went back under the knife, for an additional 10 hours of anesthetic bliss.
( WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB !!!!! )
After I came to.....
from my anesthetized induced high adventure on the Qryborian Plains of Plauges of the Martian landscape,
swan through the grizzly-shark-squid infested Sea of Bad Blood,
climbed the Diamond Mountains of the dreaded walking undead Dunkleosteus People,
rescued the 10 (really hot and low moraled) princesses from being sacrificed by the
Dark Pulsating, Bloated, festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed Slug-for-a-Butt Lord Bob,
to his heathen patron god: Boingar the Boingarian Wanderer,
escaped from the love crazed tuskephant that I had been tied to by a weird holy man,
that I later cleaved in twain and fed his flesh and entrails to said tuskephant.
all the while sometimes surviving on the bore worms I dug of my skin,
while other times at some local.....let's just say "burger" joints.
and their scorpicrab cakes weren't bad either.
......I once again found myself waking up too dang early with all that $#!&ing medical equipment shoved down my gullet.
I don't quite remember everything from this time,
but apparently all that junk was keeping me from getting dead post-op.
I'm told that I was still strapped down to the Frankenstein table,
writhing in agony and screaming aloud: "NO ANCHOVIES!".
Go figure.
( WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB !!!!! )
After all this, just like before, I was sent to a recovery room,
had my catheter pulled out and ripped off my fairly hairy leg,
spent a week in the hospital, grind more weight and let the muscle atrophy set in,
but this time with a new zipper on my back,
Fortunately, my physical therapy was working....slowly....but definitely working.
I'm off my walker and still on crutches, but am walking a lot better overall since leaving the hospital.
( WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB !!!!! )
Alas....if only that was the thing I got out on my vacation here.
One other thing that happened on this surgical outing was that I also come out of it with additional affliction.
After spending so much time on my stomach during the 2 operation sessions for 2 days,
I came out with some nerve damage.....in both of my hands.
My thumbs, pointing fingers, and middle fingers were all affected.
I now had this numb, sunburn-esque feeling in my forearms and these 6 digits.
My 1st thought was "well so much for drawing now".
Although it is still somewhat painful for me to draw, paint, open a bottle or even a bag of chips, etc.
this scenario was fortunately not the case, as my fingers have cleared up a little.
( WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB !!!!! )
Because of this nerve damage in my hands and fingers,
I had to go see a nerve specialist about this issue.
(Argh this was not fun man)
Aside from the electro-shocking of my hands and arms,
the doc also had to stick several needles directly into my nerves and then proceed to "twang" them.
And all this was just part of the examination itself.
apparently, it's just the way that it's done.
But meh....what the heck....I have a new spine.
Y'know....I wonder if I can have my driver's license changed to "cyborg" now.
( WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB !!!!! )